I’ve Got You

               I want you to know
               I want you to know
               You’ll never escape me
	               -- Alice Notley

I had never been in love before.
I was like a thin wheel
tumbling downhill
                                   unstoppable and shaky.

I had to do something.

You remember too much you accused me
much later,
                      when things began to unravel.

It’s almost sad when you think about it.

All my life I was rewarded
only for my intellect
and my willingness to sit still.
This made me 
and it is now my weapon.
People like me 
who seem steadfast and selfless
we’re the adders in the switchgrass

I am tired of being mysterious
There is so much
You wanted in so I let you in.
When did my appetites
ever preclude your search for pleasure?
No you begged me for this.    
Demanded access
                         to my kingdom of seriousness
greedy for the novelty of it
           like some infantile thing
only ever wanting to grasp me
and express yourself.

Never imaging that this would cost you anything.

So I let you in.
I let you use my body
	                  like a ladder
to pull yourself out from the mire.

Never imaging that this would cost you anything.

But didn’t I try to tell you? I tried to warn you
that I would get inside you 
and ruin you.
Say love again I dared you 
as I held your head underwater.

After that you kept me
in a tank with your stonefish
and my chapbooks.
                                                           How easy to become a possession
		                   and you handled me so precisely
all eyes and teeth
       just the way
I like it.

I had never been in love before
and I had to do something.

Your eyes as bright as arctic water.
Those demon Nordic lakes.
I could drown in those eyes
			            I told you.
And here we are
at the bottom of the well.

And I remember everything.

17 thoughts on “I’ve Got You

  1. This was brilliant. Personal and complex and real, but with a lyricism that lets you just get lost in it. I could relate, on one hand; on the other hand, I have become an admirer of that heart that can give so much and understand so much.

    Keep loving and stay inspired.

  2. very nice indeed. i like the way it builds towards the inexorable climax. by the way, i’ve made several attempts to follow your blog, all without success. guess i’ll just have to do things the old-fashioned way.

  3. Brutal, honest and touching all at once.
    We are all carnivores.
    “we’re the adders in the switchgrass”
    I know this feeling.
    Heaven and annihilation.
    “use my body like a ladder.”
    right in the gut.
    beautiful work.

  4. Hi there.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the like.
    I love the way you write.
    It is very picturesque. And very emotional.
    Keep writing.
    Big Love

  5. Deep with a raw passion that renders the soul exposed. That is how your words peel away the guarded me to reveal the frightened boy from within. I like the sincerity of your poetry.

  6. “Mercy, mercy but love is strange.” Bonnie Raitt – Love Letter.

    You nailed the feeling of drowning in love. “I wanted to be wanted”. Every lover’s desire.

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